7 ways a giraffe can damage your device
With April the Giraffe about to give birth in the Animal Adventure Park in Harpursville, New York, it is time to warn readers of how a giraffe can damage their device in ways that a cat or dog would only dream of:
- Licking it – A giraffe’s tongue is about 50 cm long and black. Equipped to pluck the greenery off a thorny acacia tree, this could do a number on your smartphone.
- Stepping on it – A giraffe can weigh 830 kg. Even a quarter of that is a lot of stress for your touchscreen to handle.
- Kicking it – Giraffes are known to kick each other and lions. A phone, regardless of how much you value it, is nothing. And I ain’t lion.
- Malware – On a purely hypothetical level, April the Giraffe is likely to be misused to spread various types of malware – even if she has never, ever touched a computer or smartphone in her life. With a gestation period of 15 months, the bad guys have had a lot of time to plan out their attack – even is they are usually driven by automatic feeds of top Google searches.
My short list of four potential channels
- Pictures with malware – Images posted by your favorite search engine can be spiked with malware.
- Tweeted links – “it’s soooo cute,” click here to see more.
- Shared GIFs on Facebook – short clips that are really stealing your contacts.
- Sending emails with links to pictures – Spam emails with a giraffe theme.
For safer Giraffe gawking, here is a three-step solution
- Use the Avira Protection Cloud browser extension to ID and block infected websites. After all, with millions of active users, we know the bad sites.
- Click with care. Some hot news is just too hot to click on. So don’t. Thinking before clicking is a great life trait.
- Go direct. Yes, you can go to the April the Giraffe‘s website and get the news for yourself. Or check out their social media links such as https://www.facebook.com/AnimalAdventurePark/ or https://www.twitter.com/AprilTheGiraffe or watch the live stream on Youtube (see below) directly. Why let others recycle the news? Go straight to the source.